photo: Danny Nicoletta

The Diet Popstitute Story

Diet's entertainment obsession began in childhood, a period he spent hiding from bullies and coercing the neighborhood kids into appearing in his self-written & directed plays. A teenage Bowie freak he read After Dark magazines, and dreamed of escape, and after one miserable year of college at U. MASS, hopped a bus to San Francisco.

Well, almost. First there was a year in mellow Marin, land of hot tubs, marijuana, and healthy naturalistic outdoorsy life-styles. Diet could have become a well-adjusted member of society, but a voice inside told him he was destined for more. Much more. Inspired by the poems of Patti Smith and Jim Carroll's "Basketball Diaries", he moved to San Francisco to experience the stimulating cultural vitality, the magic of urban decay, and hopefully... meet some boys. It had become apparent to even himself (the cruel jocks in school had known all along) that he was an invert, a creature of the night, a homosexual. Rather than moving to the gay ghetto though, he lived in a series of sleazy residence hotels, he became a regular on the burgeoning local Punk scene, befriending such luminaries as Jennifer Blowdryer, Don Vinyl, Bambi Lake, Nyna Napalm, Ginger Coyote, and his incredibly loyal sidekick Alvin ¿ Go Go (aka Alvin Orloff, if you haven't already guessed).

In 1980 Diet moved to New York City and became a proto-club kid, but tiring of the filth and poverty, soon returned to S.F. to take his place at the center of the art fag social whirlwind. He began writing poems, often performed impromptu in front of the old Stud just after closing, much to the shock and delight of the intoxicated barflies. In 1986, he, Alvin, and their friend Brad resolved, in drunken fit of passion to start a musical/performance-art group dedicated to jolting their fellow homos out of their status crazed, Dynasty-watching, conformist stupor. The music consisted of backing tapes Diet created using a sampler & 4 track while Bad played piano and saxophone. Diet sang, using his poems for lyrics with Alvin on back up. The resulting sound was years ahead of it's time.

Calling themselves "The Popstitutes" (meant to suggest Pop Prostitutes) they developed a stage show featuring costume changes for every song, and action dramatizing the lyric's themes (queer bashing, narcissistic media addiction, what have you). Well over 20 people of all genders, ethnicities, and sexual orientations (with an admitted preponderance of sexy young boys) were recruited into the shows at one time or another. Diet organized, and like his hero Andy Warhol, put the talents of those around him to good use. From Fruit Fly he commissioned costumes, from Tyler Bob Ingenue, large elaborate props. He had Zeon choreograph dances, and Alvin write amusing theater programs. The group performed at all the local night clubs, creating a stir with their homoerotic imagery & high camp antics. Impossible to pigeonhole musically, they opened for groups as diverse as The Del Rubio Triplets and Gwar, and also performed at ACT UP and QUEER NATION protests, a Hagen Daaz ice cream parlor, a Pagan acid orgy, U.C. Riverside, and a Tupperware party. The last performance was in 1994 at a "Smutfest" in London, England.

Always eager to hear new voices, in 1989 Diet began "Inner Chaos", an open mike for spoken word and poetry at Chaos, a Mission district dance club. It grew in popularity to the point where it required it's own night. KLUBSTITUTE opened on February 13th, 1990 as a one night a week cabaret-style club with Diet as madcap MC and booker, Alvin as DJ, Brad as barback/decorator, Tyler Bob as doorman/decorator, and Fruit Fly as hostess.

Never predictable, the Klub featured an amazing variety of talent: Underage Punk bands from Berkeley, featured readings & writing workshops & 'zine booths, dancing, games (go-cart races, twister), theatrical productions (stage versions of "Carrie" and "The Poseidon Adventure" brought the house down), drag extravaganzas, protest marches, zany theme nights, and two weddings. This ecclectecism made it a favorite with queers, punks, politicos, literati, glitterati, differently-gendered persons, and political activists, producing an unprecedented cultural cross-polination. Diet used his personal charisma to help put across the most unlikely of acts to the diverse and demanding crowd and relentlously encouraged audience members to develop their own talents and try performing. Moving from venue to venue the club picked up many new devotees and continues to this day as the Klubstitute Kollective.

Never content to rest on his laurels, in 1992 he and friend Andrew Wood formed PLAYSTITUTE, a queer oriented theatrical production agencywhich brought "Carrie, The Play" by The Sick & Twisted Players and "Beach Party On The Black Lagoon" by the Modacrylic Players, to the stage at Life On The Water Theater, "Phillip R. Ford's Dolls" to the On Broadway, and "Women In The Shadows" to The Diesel Cathedral.